On December 29th, after a week of having strange pregnancy symptoms that I decided I couldn't keep ignoring, I took a pregnancy test. And to my SHOCK it was positive. I had had my first period since having J just 2 weeks before (at least I thought I had). How could I have a positive pregnancy test? How far along could I possibly be? I had been nursing J full time and taking the mini pill - Errin and I had no idea how to measure how far along I was. I take pregnancy tests occasionally when I'm nursing just to make sure, but it had been the beginning of November since I'd taken one. If I was only a month along I'd been taking the birth control for at least two weeks of my pregnancy. But chances were good that it had been longer than that.
I had a miscarriage a year before J was born. I was on Errin then too. I only took a couple of pills after conceiving before I ran out and hadn't made an appointment to get more so I was going without. The doctor told me it probably wasn't the pill that caused it. He said that miscarriages are normal and something just happened to go wrong early on during cell splitting to cause it. It was a fluke and would probably never happen to me again. I had had 2 healthy pregnancies before that so it was probably nothing genetic.
What did this mean for this pregnancy? I had already had what I thought was a full period but as it turns out I was pregnant at the time so that didn't make any sense. And I had also started spotting. I spotted the entire pregnancy with J, so I wasn't sure what to think. I called the doctor's office and explained my symptoms to the nurse. She assured me that it sounded like whatever was causing it was fixing itself and there was nothing to be concerned about. The 'period' was probably implantation bleeding. Totally normal. So we waited a week and the spotting never got worse. In fact it was pretty sparse. We decided to announce it to our families. J did the honors for us.
I still hadn't told the girls. I didn't want to have to explain to them AGAIN if I did miscarry. But Crystal suddenly kept bringing up 'next time we have a baby...' and I finally told her too. She was pretty excited not just about another baby but also that we were going to have to get a BIGGER car. lol. I took a video of it, and it was too cute to just delete and not share.
I'M MISCARRYING
Two days later the spotting started again and I decided I needed to know for sure how far along I was and whether everything was okay. I went in for an elective ultrasound (no doctor's order) expecting to hear a heartbeat to calm my fears, but unfortunately there was no heartbeat and all the tech would tell us is that it definitely didn't look like a normal pregnancy. I called my doctor's office and the nurse was wonderful. We talked about the next steps to take and what was about to happen. I'd been through this before and I felt like I had been preparing for this to happen for the past month. That doesn't mean I didn't shed a few tears or have a couple of emotional breakdowns, but I definitely handled it better than the last one. My last miscarriage took care of itself in only 4 days after my symptoms began. I was sure this one would be similar, so the nurse and I decided to give it the weekend before going in to see the doctor and getting medication to help things along.
The nurse called Monday. Nothing had really happened yet and I had contracted and AWFUL cold on top of it all and couldn't hardly talk. She was very concerned about my body trying to deal with a sickness and miscarriage at the same time. She was especially concerned about the flu. But we agreed I only needed to come in if I had a fever and my doctor said it could take up to 3 weeks to miscarry. I gave it 4 more days and still not much was happening. I also woke up that morning with an eye infection so I decided it was time to go to the doctor and get something to help me miscarry and also antibiotics for my eyes.
I had to go in for another ultrasound since the first one wasn't doctor ordered. It was the same tech as the week before and since it was doctor ordered she was able to tell me more about what she was seeing. It looked like I was 8 weeks along when it stopped growing but the sac was irregular shaped. The good news was it was right at my cervix so it looked like my body was working on getting rid of it.
When I got to the doctor, he thought he'd be able to take care of it right in the office (a D&C was going to cost us a good $3000) but unfortunately my cervix wasn't open enough. So he sent me home with a prescription for meds and painkillers. Other than making me miserable and not want to get out of bed, they didn't do anything... in fact they kinda did the opposite and made me stop bleeding instead. I waited a week thinking my body was just going to do things on its own terms, but still nothing happened.
At this point we are 2 weeks away from a big Cook family vacation (7 day cruise - blog post to come :D). I wanted to be well on my way to recovery before we left. I called the office again and talked to the nurse. We decided to try the meds again only taking them more often in a shorter period of time.
When I got to the pharmacy, they hadn't gotten the prescription and it was after hours so no one was answering at the doctor's office. The pharmacy put my number in for an on call doctor to call me. Apparently she accidentally paged the midwife instead but she said she could help me anyway. She looked at the prescription and said she wanted to change it a little, so she sent it in and talked to the pharmacist about the changes. She also told me that the directions on the pills the pharmacist gave me the week before were WRONG! The doctor's office had given instructions to take them every 6 hrs but the bottle I was given said every 12 hours! NO WONDER IT DIDN'T WORK! This time the pharmacist gave me the bottle with the correct time, but it was a different dosage! I asked the pharmacist and she said it was right. I thought the dosage might be different because the midwife had changed how I was supposed to take the meds so I didn't question it any further. I started them as soon as I got home. And they sure did make me miserable, but still nothing happened.
My parents came Monday and took the girls home with them. I wasn't sure if I was going to have to have surgery yet but I thought it would be easier to recover if I just had J to take care of and not all 3 of them. I also had a WONDERFUL neighbor who watched J throughout the week whenever I needed Ty to be with me.
I had an appointment on Tuesday. This is when I found out the pharmacy got my prescription wrong yet again! I strangely wasn't upset though. I felt very strongly that the pharmacy getting my prescription wrong twice in a row was not a coincidence. We've been going to that pharmacy for 7 years now and they've never gotten a prescription wrong before. I also felt that if I took them again at the right dosage something very bad would happen. As much as I didn't want to spend the money, I felt our only other option was a D&C... much to Ty's dismay (he didn't want to spend the money either! lol). The doctor tried doing it in the office again. He got a piece of it out but not nearly close to the whole thing. It was apparently still stuck to my uterus. We had a long talk with my doctor and he agreed that the only path that seemed right at this point was a D&C.
I had already priced out costs and it was looking like a surgical center was going to be the best place to go price wise. Unfortunately my doctor didn't have privileges at the surgical center yet, so we were going to have a different doctor in the practice do it. I also drank a Jamba juice for breakfast on the way to the doctor's so I wouldn't be able to have surgery until long after the center had closed. We were going to have to wait until Wednesday. I didn't want to wait that long. I wanted every hour possible to recover before our trip just a week and a half away.
Ty had left a message with Timpanogos Hospital twice the past week trying to get pricing, but he couldn't get anyone to call him back. So we asked the doctor if he thought he would have more luck. He said he would get someone who could find out for us. About 30 minutes after we got home the hospital finally called Ty back and it was going to cost the same as the surgical center! Yay! I was going to have my doctor AND get it done sooner than otherwise! Then the hospital called back and the news got even better. They would give us 20% off on top of that for paying in full... which we planned on doing anyway (bye bye tax return...). It was going to be cheaper than we thought!
SURGERY
We got to the hospital at 4 pm. Ty kept J with him thinking it would give him something to do during the surgery anyway. The actual surgery was only supposed to be 5 minutes, 15-20 if you consider prep once you get to the OR. Then I'd be in recovery for an hour, back to my room for an hour, and then home again.
They got me all prepped for surgery and then we waited. The doctor came in sometime after 5. He sat with us for 20 minutes before the anesthesiologist and OR nurse finally came in. Ty was starving (I couldn't eat lunch, so he hadn't had much either). He decided he would wait the 10-15 minutes for the doc to come back out and tell him how things went and then he'd go eat while I was in recovery.
When I woke up from surgery, the first thing I noticed was pain in my left hand. I looked at it and there was cotton taped to it, but it didn't make sense because the IV had been in my other hand. I asked the nurse if they had tried to give me a second IV and she said. "Yes hun. You lost a lot of blood." "Am I okay?" "Yes you are okay now, you just needed some blood." At which point (after bending my right arm a few times) I noticed the second IV was actually in my right arm still. They had apparently failed to get an IV in my left hand (it had the biggest bruise on it later on in the week.. youchy).
I heard them talking about showing Ty to my room which confused me because I was supposed to just go back to the room where I had left him. "Are you taking me to a different room?" "Yes hun, you are going to have to stay the night tonight." "Okay..." At this point I'm really wishing the nurse would just tell me what was going on, but I knew she was just waiting for the doctor to come back so that he could tell me what happened. So I decided to just let it go and wait for the doctor.
While waiting, I realized I needed to pee... not good. I knew there was no way I would be able to get up to go but it turns out it didn't matter because the doctor wanted my bladder to stay empty so they put in a catheter. IT WAS AWFUL! It made me feel like I had to go CONSTANTLY. What an awful feeling to have for 12 hrs straight right?
The doctor finally came in and sat next to me. He said he had just talked to Ty and let him know what had happened. And then he explained it to me. The plan was that he would go in, scrape slightly around the uterus to find the tissue and suck it out. He said when he got started he noticed I was bleeding more than normal for other D&C surgeries he had preformed, but it was nothing alarming so he continued with the surgery.
As he scraped around and came in contact with the tissue (nothing vigorous, just so he would know where to suction), I began to hemorrhage. He said I lost a liter of blood in just 30 seconds. He put pressure on the spot inside and out and had them give me 5 different drugs that controls bleeding (the same meds I was taking to try to move my miscarriage along as it turns out... even the $300 one...). Once the bleeding was under control and I'm assuming they were giving me blood at this point also, he knew it wouldn't stop until he got the tissue out, so he ordered an ultrasound. He didn't want to go in blind again. According to the doctor (who had no idea why I was bleeding and was stressed out for obvious reasons), the ultrasound tech took FOREVER to get to the OR with the machine.
The ultrasound tech was shocked at what he was seeing. He said it looked like a molar pregnancy and the tissue had started to grow into my uterus. It had almost grown completely thru it. When the doctor went to suck it out, the suction he usually used wouldn't even make it budge. He had to get a stronger suction to finally get it out. In the time it took for him to get it out, I had lost at least another liter of blood. The tech said there were no holes or tears in my uterus which was the only thing they could think of that could have caused so much blood (in fact the nurse that came out after 40 mins of my 15 minute surgery to update Ty told him that my uterus had ruptured/torn/punctured). The doctor was just baffled as to what could have caused me to hemorrhage the way I did.
On top of it the tissue was like nothing he had ever seen before. Everyone was certain it was molar. The doctor kept telling me he couldn't believe it even after the surgery because molar pregnancy is so rare. He said pathology results would be back the next day so we would know more. If it was cancerous (molar pregnancies can extremely rarely cause cancer, but the tissue looked so off that I think the doctor was worried about it), I would have to have a couple of shots and wait a year maybe more before getting pregnant again (He actually told Ty about treatments, so this part is 3rd party information. lol).
The first thing I asked him was if my uterus was okay. He assured me that it was just fine and would heal well. He also apologized many times for the catheter (probably because I reminded him many times about how uncomfortable it was. lol) but he said that a full bladder apparently causes heavier bleeding so he wanted to make sure it was empty at all times at least overnight. He prescribed me an Ambien to help me sleep (it worked fantastically thank goodness).
Poor Ty. He waited for 40 minutes when the surgery should have only been 20 minutes tops. A nurse came out to tell him things had gone wrong, but that they had the bleeding under control. And who knows how long it was before the doctor finally told him everything that had happened. He actually cried... seriously. Any of you who know Ty know he doesn't cry. I've been waiting 7 years to see tears fall from his eyes and I was very upset with him for crying while I was unconscious in a different room! lol. I told him the least he could have done was taken a selfie video for me to watch later! lol! He now says he was crying because J was crying ... AND because I was staying the night so it was going to cost more... lol. He was still starving and J was asleep so he didn't stay long after they finally brought me to my room.
RECOVERY and ANSWERS
The next day the doctor came in and told me again what happened just in case I was too drugged up to remember. I hadn't forgotten any of it but it was good to hear again just to help understand everything. He took me off the meds I was taking to control bleeding and the bleeding stayed to a minimum so I was able to go home without the meds. I was still very worried it would get bad again so I was hesitant to leave the hospital. Ty wanted to leave before he had to be to work but they had told me I could stay until after dinner if I wanted. I decided it would just be easier to leave while Ty could still take me home and get to work on time(J was with my neighbor. She had watched him the entire day so Ty could be with me).
My awesome friend Julia came to stay with me to watch J (and lets face it I needed watching too. lol). I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes without getting dizzy and I was taking a strong painkiller (I swear they picked me up and threw me around during surgery. lol. My entire body was sore and ached). She was so wonderful! She came Wednesday afternoon and stayed till Ty got home after midnight and did it again on Thursday! Friday we drove to IF to go get the girls from my parents. I still couldn't stand for very long and was wishing I was recovering faster. After talking to the nurse I started taking iron supplements.
On the way to IF, the doctor's office called with results. EVERYTHING WAS NEGATIVE! No molar pregnancy, no cancer, and also no uterine wall which meant my uterus was definitely okay. The doctor told me I had been pregnant much longer than I'd thought and the tissue had started to calcify which explained why it looked odd. He said when it finally released from the uterine wall my body tried reabsorbing it which is what caused the hemorrhaging. Everything was explained. And I am forever grateful to my wonderful doctor who thought fast and saved my life.
At my follow up that doctor said the docs in pathology kept going over the tissue (yes all of them). Apparently I'm a medical mystery. He says I potentially could have been pregnant since after J was born. I had had MANY negative pregnancy tests since then. And I didn't start having pregnancy symptoms (nausea, peeing every 5 minutes, sore breasts - which by the way sucks when you are nursing) until the end of December which led me to take a test that was finally positive. The doctor couldn't tell me why any of that happened. I'm just glad it did or I may not have known what was happening in my body until it was too late.
Many times the doctor mentioned how amazing it is that we weren't at the surgical center for the surgery. That Ty had wanted a Jamba juice on the way to the doc so I had eaten and couldn't go in right away and that the hospital cost less than the surgical center (even though the other hospitals cost much more). I'm also afraid to think what would have happened if the meds had been taken correctly and actually worked. If just releasing from the wall caused hemorrhaging, I very well could have bled to death at home. It was also amazing that I had possibly lost the baby 7 or 8 months before but there was no sign of infection in the tissue.
Something else I mentioned to the doctor MANY times throughout this entire ordeal is that I thought my birth control had caused my miscarriage. It was the only commonality in my two miscarriages. He would ask what I was taking and I would tell him 'the mini pill - Errin' and he would nod his head and say, 'oh yeah.' In fact at my follow up he said he didn't want to give it to me. I stopped him before he finished telling me why because I am NEVER taking that stuff again. He completely agreed with me that it could very well have caused both miscarriages. I'm kicking myself for taking it again after the first miscarriage, but I was assured by my previous doctor that that wasn't the cause. :(
The doctor wants me to still wait a year before getting pregnant again to make sure everything heals first, and I still need to go get a blood test to make sure my hgc levels have dropped completely. If they haven't he'll give me a shot to help any left over tissue reabsorb. He assured me he wouldn't be doing another D&C. He didn't want to go anywhere near that until he was sure it was completely healed. lol. He didn't even want to put in an IUD when we were talking about birth control options. haha. He said "I'll deliver your babies later on, but I'm not doing that again." lol. Poor guy. I think I shook him up a little.
The bruise on my hand a week after surgery. The picture doesn't do it justice. lol. This picture is the only proof of this entire ordeal that I have. haha.
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