Those were the thoughts going through my head today as I searched frantically for my 2 year old, Lily. Tears were pouring down my face as thoughts of never seeing her again raced through my head. I had just sent Ty to call 911 because we had been looking for her for 10 minutes and there just wasn't anywhere else in the park to look for her.
What was the last thing I said to her? Had I given her a hug today? Had I told her how much I loved her? Who took her away from me? Were they going to hurt her? Please, Please don't let anyone hurt her!!! What am I going to do without my little Lily? Without her smile? Her sweet hugs?
We were at a park in Provo that has a splash pad that the kids love to play in. Last time we were there Ty's mom was with us, and she mentioned how easy it would be for someone to take a little kid and walk off without anyone knowing it. I immediately thought of Lily because she isn't afraid of ANYONE. I'm certain she would take anyone's hand and walk off with them, and I would never see her again. In fact today she ran off the splash pad the wrong direction, looked around for us, and since she didn't see us she just went back to playing, not worried at all about the fact that we weren't where she thought we were. She is very trusting, loves everyone, and is completely fearless.
While we were there today, I kept thinking of what Ty's mom had said, so I was counting heads every couple of minutes to make sure they were all still in the water and hadn't wandered off. We were sitting in a shaded tree near the pad but when I would sit down I could only see their heads which made it hard to keep track of them. Jacob was hungry, so while I was feeding him I asked Ty to check on the kids. He got up and looked around. He didn't say anything he just walked over to the splash pad. He came back a few minutes later and said he couldn't see Lily. He still wasn't acting concerned, and he went back to the splash pad, so I pushed the anxiety away and told myself that he must have an idea of where she was if he wasn't concerned yet. He came back 2 or 3 minutes later and said he still couldn't find her. I completely lost it. My anxiety level went through the roof! We searched the entire park, the bathrooms, the enclosed toy area, even the busy street next to the park, and she was no where to be found. Ty had pulled his phone out to call the police. I didn't know what else to do.
My heart was thumping and I was sick to my stomach. I just couldn't believe this was really happening to us. Someone had taken my baby girl! Where else could she be? Another family had seen me crying and frantically looking around, so they were helping us look too. But where else was there to look?!?! She wasn't anywhere! I had just started to ask some city workers working on the splash pad if they had seen her while they were working in the utility building. I was worried she had managed to sneak in and gotten locked in. I didn't know what else to think!
The lady helping us came from the other side of the pad pointing toward the enclosed toy area. I followed her finger and RELIEF flooded through my body. There was Lily inside the fence pushing empty baby swings not even aware that she was lost. I hugged the lady who found my baby! Ty and I had both checked the toys and hadn't seen her (she never answers to her name anymore). But it didn't matter. She was found.
It didn't happen. It wasn't real. I'm probably going to need medication to get over this.
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